google.com, pub-8051373508966315, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0

Making Sobriety Mainstream

Beth Harbinson set out to help people with addiction issues and ended up starting a new business and a new life.

In 2017, Beth Sandbower Harbinson, now 63, was backstage at Merriweather Post Pavilion with friends. It was a big night out and she was ready to party. Her friends, who drank alcohol, “got these really cool drinks,” Beth said. However, she stopped drinking alcohol in 2005. So, when she got to the bar, wallet in hand, and asked for something non-alcoholic, she was offered water, soda or Red Bull. None of those choices sounded very festive. “It’s not an equitable choice,” Beth said. “Back then, there were not many non-alcoholic (NA) adult beverages available.”

That’s when Beth got an idea. She created Sobar, a non-profit specializing in providing non-alcoholic cocktail service. “I pitched this idea at a Shark-Tank like event called the Changemaker Challenge sponsored by United Way and The Horizon Foundation and thought why not?”

At the time, Beth was working full-time as the Executive Director of Children’s Scholarship Fund Baltimore. “I don’t know how I did it,” Beth said. “Because we did a lot (at Sobar). It was like having a second job.”

She ran Sobar “part-time” while working at the scholarship fund until this year when she decided to retire August 1. She helped transition a new executive director into the position and then moved onto retirement. “I had come to the conclusion of the substantive work that I had started,” Beth said. She saw that to continue and build Sobar,  she would need to work on the project full time for a year and then assess her time commitment.

But the transition to retirement has not been without bumps.  “I’m trying to figure out what I want to focus on. I’m wired to work,” Beth said.

“I am liking it (retirement), but I have to teach myself,” Beth said. She is still setting her alarm for 7:30 a.m., whether or not she has a meeting. She said she’s beginning to realize she doesn’t need to wake up at that time anymore except to take care of her four-legged alarm clocks — her 3 dogs.

For Beth, the best part of retirement has been more control over her time. “I’ve been able to prioritize what’s matters to me. I love my morning routine of mediation,” Beth said. “And I love to exercise.”

In addition to Sobar, she sits on the Opioid Community Crisis Council and Local Behavioral Health Authority Board.  “We look at behavioral and mental health issues in Howard County and work with agencies to improve services and identify needs. I’m really passionate about dealing with these issues,” Beth said.

However, a majority of time is dedicated to her passion project Sobar. Sobar is a non-profit organization with a very specific mission – to provide and promote innovative beverage options to those who cannot or choose not to drink alcohol. Their current focus includes:

  1. Creating awareness about the need to have non-alcoholic offerings at events.
  2. Providing the non-alcoholic bar at large public events, and
  3. Offering Sobar Certification to businesses and organizations.

Sobar Certification is a partnership Sobar offers to corporations, organizations and event venues that pledge to include equitable, non-alcoholic options at any event they are hosting. “In exchange the organization makes a meaningful contribution to Sobar annually that allows them to use our branding and gives them a direct line to our wholesalers. Nine times out of ten when we approach an organization, they say this makes so much sense, but we never thought about it,” Beth said.

“It’s a market that is rapidly going to expand in this country,” Beth said. “The market has exploded.” There are over 500 non-alcoholic options available according to Beth.

“It certainly helps people in recovery from alcoholism, but think about the other people who don’t drink. You’re pregnant. You’re on a drug for mental health or any medication where the label says ‘do not drink alcohol while on this drug.’ The designated driver. The person who doesn’t drink for religious reasons. Or the growing number of Gen Zer’s who are saying they want to moderate or reduce their alcohol intake – about 65 percent,” Beth said.

In addition to serving non-alcohol options and providing the certification, Sobar has NA options available on its website. They are working in partnership with wholesaler Better Rhodes and because they are a non-profit, a percentage of the sales help support Sobar’s mission.

Beth and her volunteers are unpaid. She does pay a few paid staff members, but the majority of the money goes to pay the “sobaristas.”

Soberistas are the bartenders for Sobar. The majority are in recovery and many of them live in halfway houses or sober living facilities. “Many of those people have a record because they have done things to support their disease, so it’s hard for them to get employment,” Beth said. “We love hiring these folks. I’ve met so many fascinating people.”

The sobaristas make $20 an hour and a minimum of $120 a shift. Beth said, “I think it’s important to pay a living wage to people.”

In addition, she knows many of her employees have lost their license and need to Uber to work. “That’s not inexpensive.”

“At the end of the day, if I help to keep one of my bartenders sober, that’s amazing, “Beth said.

Addiction in America

Beth stopped drinking in 2005. She knew that she had a problem with alcohol, but had been reluctant to face it. “It was a crazy, scary time,” Beth said. With encouragement from her family, she went to see a counselor and he suggested a 12-step program. “There are many roads to recovery,” Beth said, but this one has worked for her.

“I call mental health and substance abuse second class diseases,” Beth said.

“You can’t go to a hospital emergency room and get treatment.” When someone does seek help, oftentimes there is a long-wait to be admitted to a program.

“It’s crazy to me that something that is happening at epidemic levels is not more streamlined and mainstreamed in the continuum of care,” Beth said.

Raising Awareness

“We’re such an alcohol centric society,” Beth said. Sobar seeks to make not drinking mainstream.

When NA options are available “it’s just there. No one has to make a special request.” Beth said. “There is still so much stigma and shame associated with the disease of alcoholism and addiction.  By having equitable NA options, hosts can help reduce those feelings.”

Beth works with organizations to promote NA options at events. She consults with organizations on the wording of their invitations to ensure they include information about having alcohol-free options.  One example is a recent Bourbon & BBQ event that featured Zero proof counterparts.

“We do about 50 galas a year,” Beth said. Sobar can either set up a non-alcoholic bar or help curate non-alcoholic options for an organization.

“We can set up a bar that looks exactly like a regular bar with zero alcohol and with options that taste great.” Beth said.

Her work setting up these NA bars at events has been rewarding. “Occasionally someone will come up to us during an event and say ‘you helped keep me sober today.’ That makes it all worth it,” Beth said.

NA Products

Although Sobar does not manufacture NA products, it does work very closely with NA producers and wholesalers. Better Rhodes is their wholesaler. “I like these guys. I like their corporate values and I want to be associated with them,” Beth said.

The public can buy NA products through the Sobar website and Better Rhodes makes a donation to Sobar to support its mission. In addition, first time buyers going through the Sobar website receive a 10 percent discount.

Sobar’s number one drink is their Butterfly Pea Tree Lemonade. “We will probably never do a bar in the spring or summer without including it,” Beth said. “It’s a beautiful drink.” The ingredients combine to make a magenta-colored drink.

“My favorite pre-mixed drinks are Lyres pre-canned drinks from Australia,” Beth said. “One mimics a gin and tonic and it’s 45 calories.”

As further evidence of NA popularity, Beth said, “These products sell out.” She suggests people stock up for the holidays early. In addition to selling products through the website, Sobar will have local events leading up to the holiday season.

“What we’ve decided to focus on this holiday season is selling kits for home parties,” Beth said.

The weekend of November 25 through the 27, Beth and Sobar will be selling cocktail kits at the Kennedy Krieger Institutes’ Festival of Trees. In addition, there will be a Zero-Hour Happy Hour at Georgia Grace in Ellicott City December 8th from 6-8 p.m. There will be samples of the Sobar offerings, drinks and kits for sales as well as live music and Georgia Grace’s great menu.

For information about all their events, go to: https://www.drinksobar.org/

Navigating New Relationship Rules

It may seem as though Beth spends all of her time helping others, but she has made carving out time for herself and her husband Scott a priority as well.

“I’m having conversations with my spouse, whom I love, about what we are going to do together,” Beth said. Her spouse retired a couple of years ago.

Before retirement they led fairly autonomous lives as they both had very busy careers. “We are working with a consultant who works with people through life transitions,” Beth said. Jenn Gruber, a relationship consultant, helps them ask the questions they need to ask during this life transition.

Beth has agreed to do a four-day work week so one day a week they make spending time together a priority. They have bought electric bikes and riding bikes is often a part of their weekday off plan.

The Future Looks Bright

Beth said she knows how lucky she is to have retired early and be able to run Sobar unpaid. She credits her husband Scott with creating a sound financial plan for them. “Thank God I married an MBA,” Beth said.

In addition to promoting the Sobar Certification with organizations, Beth said she would like to have a retail store with a tasting room in the back. She’s not really interested in running a NA bar or restaurant, but is glad that there are more and more of these places opening up. There is an app called “Better Without” that helps people find NA establishments.

“We’re building a culture of celebration that is not so alcoholic centric,” Beth said. “I hope in some way we can shift the conversation.”

If you want more information about Sobar, visit their website: https://www.drinksobar.org/

If you know someone who would make a great subject for my blog, email me at ksparis15@gmail.com.

Transitioning to a New Career After Surviving Cancer

Sonja Schmitz’s life changed in a moment, but she didn’t let hold her back from a new career.

For Sonja Schmitz, having her annual mammogram was like going to the dentist every year or having an annual physical. She entered the office with no real concerns. But when they did the sonogram and she saw the results, she started to cry. “It was a horrible day. I just knew.” Even though she had been a biology professor for many years, that’s not why she knew there was a problem. “It wasn’t a brain thing. It was a visceral thing,” Sonja said.

Although the radiologist saw a tumor, he could not confirm that she had breast cancer. However, he performed a needle biopsy right then and there and called her on the weekend with the results. The tumor was malignant and she most likely had breast cancer.

Sonja and her husband Gary went through the Thanksgiving holidays not knowing the specifics of the diagnosis. “I started doing my literature searches and reading everything on the subject, ” Sonja said.

In mid-December, after more testing, her doctor confirmed the diagnosis. Sonja had stage two, triple negative breast cancer. “It was a very aggressive form of cancer,” Sonja said.

“By Christmas, we knew we were going to be in for a hell of a treatment,” Sonja said. She was facing eight months of chemo therapy and radiation. The chemo started a week after her January 9th surgery when they removed the tumor and the sentinel lymph nodes. The chemo lasted until July, then she began radiation every day for 35 days.

The chemo was once a week on Thursdays for four hours. “I never had to go alone,” Sonja said. She would invite a different friend to come each week and they would spend the treatment time catching up. “Some friends even came twice,” Sonja said. “That’s how I got through chemo.”

“I had a lot of” good friends. People came out the woodwork to help, in a good way,” Sonja said.

The treatment made Sonja gain over 30 pounds and made her hair fall out. The worst part was that water tasted metallic and food had to be heavily salted or very sweet for her to taste anything. However, she was grateful that she had no nausea or vomiting.

“I only have good things to say about St. Agnes Cancer Center,” Sonja said However, she and her oncologist did not agree on evaluating her prognosis. Her oncologist did not like to give a prognosis. Sonja said her research revealed that “stage 2 triple negative breast cancer with this treatment had a 93 percent chance that I won’t get cancer again.” Her doctor said, “What if you’re that 7 percent?”

“Can you say that to someone who’s sitting there?” Sonja said. “I hated her from that day on.” She stayed with her until she was done treatment and was in remission, but then switched oncologists.

Sonja was fortunate to have medical coverage through the College where her husband continues to work. “I didn’t have to pay a dime towards cancer treatment,” Sonja said.

By October 2019, she was declared cancer-free.

Making a Career Change

Previous to her diagnosis, Sonja was already struggling with her career. In 2016, she had been teaching for 15 years and was an associate professor of biology at the Community College of Baltimore County. She was feeling burnt out and unsure she wanted to continue.

Sonja let her Department Chair know how she was feeling. “The Chair said she was alarmed by what I said. I didn’t want to try anything new,” Sonja said.

Her Department Chair recommended that Sonja go on sabbatical in 2017. During that time, Sonja retrained herself and earned a certificate in Educational Research Methodology which would allow her to evaluate grant-funded projects.

She spoke with an evaluator who was already in the field. Sonja had worked with her on a previous project and that woman became her mentor. In addition to earning the certificate, Sonja was also able to spend time working in various departments at CCBC focusing on grants and research.

“I loved it!” Sonja said.

After the sabbatical, in the fall of 2018, Sonja returned to her work in the biology department, but was now the coordinator of department.

“When I accepted the position the Dean said I could not retire for at least three years. I agreed. Retirement was not on my horizon,” Sonja said.

“I came back that fall and everything was hunky dory until November when I went in for my mammogram,” Sonja said.

She tried to work from January to June. “It didn’t work. The energy wasn’t there. I had brain fog. At the time, you don’t realize fully how it’s affecting you,” Sonja said. By March, she stopped going to work.

“The College was wonderful. My colleagues were so supportive, “Sonja said. But she knew she needed to leave. The heavy fatigue accompanying the cancer made it impossible to continue and she officially retired in June 2019 at the age of 61.

With her new credentials, she knew there was something else in her future. “I knew I wanted to do evaluation work in my retirement,” Sonja said. She had already been approached by someone to work with her organization. She had a plan.

By the fall Sonja the American Association of University Women (AAUW), a non-profit in D.C. was one of her clients. “I felt good about doing the work for someone like AAUW,” Sonja said.

Her evaluation work is secured by grant-funded projects to help them determine the effectiveness of their work. They require an outside evaluator to work with the team and to document their process. “You’re not there to tell them, you need to this, this and this. Your’re not there to monitor them” Sonja said. “You solicit feedback about the project in the form of surveys and interviews and write a report once a year.”

Sonja not only loves the work, but it has helped she and Gary meet their financial needs.

Between Social Security, her evaluation work and the money her husband was still making teaching at CCBC, they enjoy a comfortable lifestyle in retirement.

Surviving COVID

Unlike many people, Sonja’s work was not affected by COVID because it is mostly online. “It did affect the colleges and the grants and that piece needed to be documented in my reports,” Sonja said.

Although COVID did not affect her work, it did affect her socially, but in a positive way. “I got to know my neighbors really well. We’ve become very close friends as well as neighbors,” Sonja said.

Her Garden, Her Passion

Sonja’s pride and joy is her garden, which she began in 2004. She hired someone to remove the lawn and put down mulch and put down some perennial plants. Later, she hired a landscape architect to come in and design a garden with native plants. “That’s what I needed. Ever since then, it’s been fun,” Sonja said. As a biologist, she knew it was important to have native plants that the wildlife were already used to. Gary buys the yard art and bird feeders for her garden to help reflect the light and provide focal points.

Gary bought her a little gardening stool when she was in treatment so she could continue to work in the garden and do a little bit of weeding. “I was pleasantly surprised that my garden had matured to the point that taking that spring and summer off didn’t affect it that much.”

Enjoying Retirement

“I knew I was the type of person who couldn’t just let go,” Sonja said. “I do enjoy working and having that little bit of structure.”

“I’m going to keep working as long as it’s enjoyable,” Sonja said. She loves the flexibility of the evaluation work. “I can take a break and fold laundry or just hang out with the cats,” Sonja said. She loves being in charge of her own schedule.

One of the other benefits of retirement has been that Sonja has time to cook more and make healthier dinners. “That’s fun.”

However, they also love going out to eat and going away for long weekends.

The highlight of her retirement so far was a trip on a Viking River cruise to celebrate the end of her cancer treatment. She booked it in the fall of 2019 but because of the pandemic they weren’t able to go until 2022. “It did finally happen this past summer!” Sonja said.

“We had the full treatment during the cruise. It was the trip of a lifetime,” Sonja said. They went from Switzerland to Amsterdam after which they flew to Dublin to spend time with their son and his family.

Final Advice

Although Sonja did not enter retirement in the way she wanted, she had an idea of what she wanted it to look like. “Have a plan. Have a financial plan,” Sonja said.

Even if she hadn’t had cancer, Sonja knew that she was not going to continue working at the College much longer.

Note:

Please make sure to get your yearly mammogram. It makes a difference. Don’t put it off until it’s convenient. It will never be convenient.

If you have a suggestion for someone I should interview, please email me karensparis15@gmail.com.

google.com, pub-8051373508966315, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0