Senior Living – Growing Up Not Old

It’s All Greek to Me and It’s Wonderful!

It’s been a while since I have sat down to write my blog. Who knew that retirement would be so busy?!

What I like best about my “retirement” is the time to do things that I love. For me, that’s traveling!

This year we ticked off another box on my bucket list.

I have always wanted to go to Greece, but this year it was my husband’s turn to pick our vacation spot. He chose Scandinavia. However the Universe wanted me to go to Greece. We received an email that there was not enough interest in our Scandinavia tour and it had been cancelled.

I called to rebook and said, “How about the Greek Islands?” They said they had a tour, rebooked us and actually refunded part of our money. It cost less for us to go to Greece than to go Scandinavia. Win. Win. For me.

Guided Tours

My husband and I favor guided tours for overseas travel. We have many friends who are comfortable traveling around the world on their own. We are not those people.

My husband and I have very different travel styles. He likes to know what he’s doing every moment. He likes order and wants to know where he is at all times. I don’t mind getting lost. I like wandering and accidentally stumbling onto non-tourist attractions.

So, for the sake of our marriage, we travel with a group.

Choosing the Group

There are many different travel groups out there. Some cater exclusively to individuals over 55 like Road Scholar. My brother his been on a number of these trips and loves them.

Some of the people on our tour had gone on trips with Road Scholar . They indicated that those tours were more scheduled and structured. Of course, perfect for my husband, not so much for me.

Then there are many other groups including Trafalger, Firebird (they called and emailed me excessively when I was just browsing. I didn’t like that.) and others. However, we chose EF GoAhead tours. We have now been on four tours with them: Italy twice, Australia and Greece. Each time you take a trip, they give you credit towards your next trip. It keeps us coming back. (I guess that’s the idea). And while many people on the trips are over 55, the trips are not exclusively for Seniors.

Why Choose Group Travel?

There are many reasons to travel with a tour group. We like that everything is done for you. They pick us up at the airport, take us to our hotel, arrange transportation, book our hotel, buy tickets to the attractions and generally make sure that we see everything we should see.

In addition, because my husband likes order and structure, he likes to double check the details of everything. He also has lots of questions. It actually drives me a little crazy. So having a tour guide who takes care of everything is the perfect solution.

We have had many good tour guides, but in Greece, we had the most amazing tour director we have ever had Pascale Fraissard. Pascale is a French woman who fell in love with Greece while in school and never looked back. She seemed to know everyone in the locations we travelled to and was a cross between a den mother and a drill sergeant.

Another quality Pascale had that made her special was her ability to make a group gel. She created a real camaraderie. We have been with many travel groups and of course some are better than others. This group was amazing! Everyone on the trip was considerate. They showed up on time and helped each other. We actually liked everyone in this group, but that is not always the case.

Sometimes there are one or two people in a group you don’t like, but with a group of 20 people, you will find someone to talk to. Sometimes you can even find life long friends.

The people who travel in these groups are usually pretty interesting and have travelled to many different places all over the world. One of the people in our group said, “In my day-to-day life, when I ask if anyone has been to a specific country, usually no one has travelled there. When I’m in a tour group, there is always someone who has been to the country where I want to travel to and they have great advice about traveling there.”

If you’re not sure whether or not group travel is the right way to travel for you, try taking a short trip somewhere and see what you think.

Flexibility!

One of the reasons we like GoAhead is that the tours have a basic structure. You can see the itinerary, what meals are included and any in tour transportation. For this tour we used ferries to go from island to island and then returned to Athens from Crete by plane.

Then there are additional trips you can add on. Some people don’t like add-ons and think everything should be included. That’s definitely reasonable. However, we like to pick and chose our tours.

For example, we decided to forego two tours because they involved long bus trips. I’m sure they would have been amazing, but after a long plane ride, we weren’t up to it. Instead, we had a free day walking around Athens and a free day walking around Crete. It’s a tough life.

More About Greece

As I said, we have been on four trips with EF Go Ahead tours and have travelled extensively on our own. For us, Greece was the most amazing trip we have ever been on. We went to Athens, Mykonos, Santorini and Crete. Each one was so amazing and unique.

The history in Athens was incredible and you feel as though you are witnessing the birth of humanity. But of course, Greece is also known for fun and food and food and fun. We went to a “Big Fat Greek” style dinner where we broke plates and drank Ouzo. For some reason my husband was selected to clean up the plates after we broke them all. (I had nothing to do with that.)

Mykonos was gorgeous. Our hotel was on a mountain top overlooking the sea and a black sand beach just a quick shuttle ride away.

It was hard to tear myself away from the beach and the view, but I decided to visit Delos, the birthplace of Apollo (according to legend). Our tour guide made the whole island come alive and as a history major, I was captivated.

My husband stayed back at our hotel. the Utopia, on Mykonos. He texted me, “I’m not leaving and you can’t make me.” I think he liked the place.

But we did leave and went to Santorini. Santorini is the island you see in every marketing shot of Greece. Blue rounded roofs and white painted buildings. Really, just WOW! We took a catamaran ride around the caldera and jumped off into the Aegean Sea. More singing, dancing, swimming, great food and wine.

Our last stop was the island of Crete. We toured the ruins of Knossos, where King Minos imprisoned the Minotaur in a labyrinth, according to the myth. To think that a 1,500 room palace was built 3,500 years ago was just awe inspiring.

After a quick trip back to Athens, we had a group goodbye dinner and the next day caught a plane for home.

It was hard to say goodbye to the history, the fun and the food. (You would think with all the spinach pie and wine and greek salad and fish and wine and dessert I had that I would have had to buy an extra seat for the trip home, but I actually only gained one pound.) But we all have to return to real life sometime.

Moving Forward!

So that’s what I did on my summer vacation. That’s why you haven’t heard from me and why I haven’t been writing.

However, in my time off, I have received so many ideas about people I should interview for my blog. I’m excited to start back to writing again. There are so many amazing people in this world, doing incredible things after 50 and I would love to introduce them to you.

If you know someone I should interview, message me or email me at ksparis15@gmail.com.

FYI — I did not receive any compensation from Go Ahead tours or the Greek government for this blog, but if they would like to say thank you, I like wine!

Fit and Fabulous Over 50 (and beyond)

Staying active and healthy is the goal of Janet Jarvis’s senior fitness class.

Janet Jarvis, 75, has been teaching fitness classes at the Y in Catonsville for over 40 years. “When we started, we wore leg warmers and leotards and all the classes were choreographed routines that changed every six weeks,” Janet said.

“Back then it was all about dance, no strength training.”

But since that time, Janet has taught everything from aerobics to spinning and strength training. Janet even held the position as Fitness Coordinator.

However, about fifteen years ago, when the Y’s senior fitness class was left without an instructor, Janet had to find a new instructor. She wasn’t anxious to take it on herself. “I thought, what will I get out of the class?” Janet said.

Although, she was technically a senior at 60 years old, Janet was much more active than the members in the class. (Even during this interview she kept popping up to demonstrate different moves.) But as the fitness coordinator, she had to staff the class and after one instructor didn’t work out, the class asked her to be the new instructor. She agreed to teach the class on one condition: The participants had to face the mirror.

Prior to Janet teaching, the participants had always been sitting in chairs with their backs to the mirrors. She felt it was important that they face the mirror so she could see everyone when she was facing the mirror and so they could see their own form on each move. “It was a safety issue,” Janet said. “When I’m facing the mirror, I have to be able to see them so I can check their posture and form,” Janet said.

In addition, Janet wanted to get them out of the chairs and moving. It wasn’t just because she thought it was a good idea, she had been taking certified senior fitness classes and CEC courses in the field. There had been a change in the philosophy when teaching seniors. The new mantra was, “Seniors can do more.”

The class agreed and Janet began teaching the senior fitness class at the Y in Catonsville. She slowly got them out of the chairs and started making changes to make them stronger and better able to carry out their day to day activities. This is known as functional fitness.

Janet sees her class as not only a way to get her participants stronger, but also to keep them connected to each other.

“We’re concentrating on them just getting here and the social aspects. It’s about establishing a community especially since so many of them live independently,” Janet said.

In addition, during her classes, Janet concentrates on strength training, core, balance and flexibility. “It’s all about core, posture and strength,” Janet said.

“It’s strength training to help them every day doing the laundry and picking things up,” Janet said.

However, it also helps them pursue an active lifestyle. Many of the seniors participate in everything from pickle ball and kayaking to quilting and painting.

She also concentrates on ankle agility and teaching seniors to lift their feet. “Shuffling is going to lead to a fall,” Janet said. “No one thinks about exercising their feet.” However for Janet, exercising the feet and ankles is a priority.

“And balance. Balance is one of the most important things that you can’t see,” she said. Again, Janet empathizes balance to help prevent falls. One part of her balance training is increasing core strength.

She realized that the seniors could benefit from strengthening their entire core to increase overall health and increase balance. “I gradually started working in some of these exercises,” Janet said.

As part of her core training, Janet incorporated the use of exercise balls. “That was a big change.”

On Monday morning, her class of more than 25 Seniors, uses exercise balls in a routine that lasts an hour. She has them lifting the balls, bouncing them, sitting on them for stability and putting them against the wall to perform squats, bicep and tricep exercises. In the background, the music of Fleetwood Mac, Rod Stewart and a few other favorites plays to create a fun fitness experience.

The Y in Catonsville has also added other fitness classes specially designed for seniors including kickboxing and Zumba Gold. “They love Zumba,” Janet said. Having a welcoming environment for seniors is important to Janet and the Y organization.

For the Y in Central Maryland, seniors are an important demographic. Janet said sometimes she is questioned about letting people into her class who have health problems. “I say, if they aren’t here, where will they go,” Janet said. She knows that before they come in they have consulted their doctors so she works with each senior at her/his own level.

After being reluctant at first to take on this class, Janet is now a Senior Fitness Advocate. “I just go to any senior training class I could find for my CECs,” Janet said.

She realizes there is a lot of work still to do. “The biggest disease facing seniors today is ‘the sitting disease’,” Janet said. “We spend too much time sitting.” All this sitting is affecting people’s health of all ages.

For Janet, making her classes fun, interesting and effective is the key. She uses, weights, bands, balls and other equipment to keep her students engaged. And playing games is all part of the fun. But each game has a purpose, keeping her participants mentally and physically fit.

In addition to all the physical benefits, Janet knows its all about the social aspects at well. After class, you’ll often see her participants sitting out in the lobby of the Y in Catonsville drinking coffee and telling stories, before they get ready to go to their next class.

What’s a senior? “Well, what is it for AARP, 50?” Janet said laughing. “So who knows. The older I get, seniors aren’t in their 50s.” The majority of her participants are in their 60s to 80s, but all are welcome.

So what does Janet get out of teaching the senior class. “I love seeing how people progress. What they can do they do. What they can’t do, we modify,” Janet said. “It also keeps me in line too. When I get up in the dead of winter, would I get up if I weren’t teaching? I don’t know. The Y is my second home,” Janet said.

“It’s not a job for me, it’s a calling,” Janet said.

If you want to find out more about the Y in Catonsville and all the fitness opportunities they offer, go to:

If you have a topic you’d like me to cover in my blog, please send me an email to karensparis15@gmail.com.

Friendship and Costa Rica: A Great Combination

How can I begin to describe what a wonderful time I had with 13 other women in Costa Rica. I’ll try.

I’ve always valued friendships with other women and strove to maintain them. In fact, I spent my 60^th birthday with two friends: one I’ve known since 1^st grade and the other since junior high.That’s why, when a friend, who I’ve only known for 30 years, told me she was putting together a retreat in Costa Rica, I said, “yes”! Another friend asked me where we would be staying and what part of Costa Rica we were going to. I said, “I don’t know, but I’m in.”

I’m so glad I said yes.

The Inception

The retreat happened thanks to three amazing women with a vision: Sue Lembeck-Edens, Rachel Mefferd and Judy Kohnen.

Sue and Rachel met each other at Goucher College in Maryland where they were Dance Therapy majors over 30 years ago. Although neither are practicing dance therapists currently, they are still in the health field. Rachel is an acupuncturist who also teaches Nia Dance, while Sue is a massage therapist who also teaches Asian healing practices such as Qigong.

Sue and Rachel connected for a weekend retreat on San Clemente beach in California. They invited a few friends to join them, including Judy, who Rachel met when their daughters were in daycare together.

During that weekend, they shared what helped them get through the pandemic and what they did for self-care. They also talked about what they wanted more of in their lives and decided they wanted more time with other women.

“We wanted more experiences whereas older women, we could spend time together like we used to in our 20s, before our families. We wanted to just laugh a lot, have fun and hang out in a way we typically haven’t given ourselves permission to do in a long time,” said Rachel.

Rachel began looking into retreats where she could be a participant. “They looked really good, but when I tried to picture myself there, there were so many question marks,” Rachel said. “I thought, what if we just do one of our own and invite people we knew.”

Rachel started by asking her close group of women whom she’d taught Nia Dance to for many years. “We had that background as dance buddies,” Rachel said. She thought it was a natural extension to go on retreat together. Judy and Sue reached out to their network of family and friends as well.

“Our stumbling block was finding a location,” Judy said.

They considered several locations, but nothing seemed to fit until Rachel was talking to a friend, who told her about a place in Costa Rica. It sounded like the perfect location.

Her friend told her she was taking a direct flight from California (where she lives) to the Guanacaste Airport in Liberia, Costa Rica. That airport there is small and easy to navigate and most importantly, the AirBnB where she was staying could accommodate 14 people.“Everything that she said was what we have been dreaming about,” Rachel said. Then when she saw the pictures and knew, “Yes, that’s the place.”

Rachel immediately texted Sue and Judy.

“We ran the numbers to see how many people we would need to make it viable,” Judy said. Then, they decided to set some dates and put it out to see if anyone was interested. They created a flier and sent it out “to our favorite people,” according to Judy. They needed a minimum of 9 people and ended up with 14.

Although many women said they wanted to go, they just couldn’t make the commitment, Judy said.

“Women have to give themselves permission to have time for themselves,” Judy said. “a bunch of my friends just wouldn’t give themselves permission. I get it. For years I haven’t given myself permission to do stuff too.” However, she also understood that some people had other commitments. “It’s also where you are in your life,” Judy said. She asked some friends and family members, but they had younger kids and were not able to go.

For Sue, it wasn’t really just about getting away for a vacation, she said it was about connection. “Being here in Central Pennsylvania, there isn’t a lot of opportunity to connect with my peer group. So, the idea of building it and they will come was really important to me,” Sue said. “I don’t really have a group with those similar interests, so I really have to extend myself. Now that my kids are older, I have time and desire to build those connections.”

Judy and Rachel thought about including their husbands in the trip either before or after the retreat, but it just became too complicated logistically because there wasn’t enough buy-in from the husbands to see if it would be feasible to extend our stay, according to Rachel.

The group also talked about having a mother-daughter retreat, so they combined their ideas and asked their daughters to come along with them. The girls came along with the group.

“Having the girls there was a really beautiful added experience,” Rachel said. “I think it added a depth of women. We had women aged 20 into their 70s,” Sue said. “Everyone embraced one another regardless of age.”

“The thing that I was struck with the young ones,” Judy said, “was their confidence. ‘Costa Rica, no problem!”

She added, “I think the girls enjoyed seeing their moms interacting with their friends and running this retreat. I think they had a lot of pride in us.”

Logistics

Sue, Rachel and Judy took the divide and conquer approach to planning the retreat.

Rachel found the AirBnB. “That was the inciting incident of the story,” Judy said.

Then Judy became the numbers person. She determined what the costs would be and how much each person needed to pay and collected the money. Judy was also responsible for working to arrange meals. The leaders had decided to have a majority of the meals catered and Judy arranged the menus. The expenses worked out to be about $200 a day according to Judy. The group leaders wanted to keep the trip at a modest price point, but they understood that for some people that price was still too high.

Sue was responsible for arranging the trips such as kayaking, snorkeling and visiting a Macaw Reserve. Although Judy did much of the research, Sue handled working with the local adventure tour group and actually booking the trips.

The plan was to integrate a half-day tour into each day’s schedule. They created their programming around the tours such as “Birds of a Feather” was the theme the day the group went to the Macaw Reserve.

Sue worked to accommodate everyone’s wishes, but it was challenging at times to make everyone happy. If people wanted a different tour than the ones that were offered, Sue put them in touch with her tour company.

“At every step of the way there were challenges. I have to say right up until a couple days before we got on the plane there were challenges,” Sue said. “If I had to do it again, in retrospect, I would probably have a cut-off date and said ‘all done’.”

Rachel served as back up to Sue and served as the project manager. Her skills with “WhatsApp” also came in handy when communicating with the tour company.

Judy said, “You also have to understand that Costa Rica is not an immediate culture. I was asking about food and the menu and the guy said ‘oh yeah, don’t worry’,” Judy said. Only two weeks before the trip did Judy have more concrete plans regarding the food.

Vacation or Retreat

For Sue, Judy and Rachel, the trip was not just about planning a vacation with girlfriends, it was about getting more of what they talked about in San Clemente. Each one brought their talents to the table and set up programming for every day.

“The initial vision for the retreat was the programming. The tours were just secondary because we were in Costa Rica,” Rachel said. “But primarily we want to offer a creative arts retreat where we could dance, write, learn some Asian healing arts and share what we love to do in a community.

Each day there was a theme, for example, one of them was “Sunrise, Sunset” to correspond with the Sunset Boat Tour. “Then we would circle back to our programming and we would create images and writing to correspond with that theme,” Rachel said.

Judy was responsible for creating writing prompts and led the portion of the program on journal writing. For “Sunrise, Sunset”, Judy prompted people to write about different phases of their lives. Her interest in writing began when her kids grew up and left home. “I knew I needed a well-developed interest,” Judy said. “I didn’t know what to be like ‘It’s the end of the world,’ when my kids moved out.” She’s been writing workshops for over 10 years and was excited to share her interest with the group.

Sue led the Asian healing arts program from Yoga to Tai Chi to Qigong. Each class was different and focused on relaxation and getting in touch with the participants’ inner thoughts. Over the years she has built her career on her passion for Dance Therapy. “Everything is related to movement and body. Whether it’s energy within and around the body,””What I shared (during the retreat) I cultivated in a class I’ve been teaching for about 10 years now called ‘Meditation Through the Seasons’,” Sue said. ”That’s the movement I have embraced through the years.”

Rachel led the group in a wide variety of dance routines. Each had a different message and a mixture of upbeat music and rhythmic moves. “The communities of women started through dance, so of course we were going to dance and do other healing arts. We did improvised dances that were related to the tours.”

Although they had everything planned, Judy said they built in flexibility. “We wanted to be able to make changes based on the mood of the group,” Judy said. “I had different writing backups to try to match up with people’s moods of the day.”

But what wasn’t flexible was the time. “The writing portion was for a very fixed time,” Judy said. Each section had a set amount of time that the leaders stayed within. “I think we worked really well together,” Judy said.

In the evenings, the leaders invited other members of the group to share and present their passions. It was a great opportunity for the group members to learn more about each other and their individual artistic endeavors.

One of the greatest challenges was the weather. “It was really, really hot and people were not that interested in working up a big sweat,” Rachel said. Luckily, the AirBnB has a pool outside that the group used to keep things cool. Dance routines were often followed by a dip in the pool and some routines were even moved into the pool.

Looking Back

I spoke with the women a few weeks after the retreat to see what they thought of the week.

“I thought it was fantastic,” Sue said. “I had a great time.”

“I really enjoyed my part,” Judy said. “At first people were reluctant to get up early (6:30 a.m.) for the Early Pages writing, but with the sun coming up early and going down early it made early birds out of night owls. People really started showing up to the writing and people really shared.” “I loved spending time with my daughter. I loved having time with the women. I loved the body movement part being able to move all day,” Judy said. However, she admitted that the woman’s energy could be a little overwhelming at times. “I was really surprised by that.”

“It really met all my expectations and my vision,” Rachel said. “I fell in love with Costa Rica and would really like to go back and explore more of it.”

“I feel we got so much of it right. It felt so good in that way. Sharing dance with everyone and seeing their smiling faces has stayed with me,” Rachel said.

One of the changes they would make would be to have clearer intentions. “We kept saying to people that this was a hybrid model of a retreat. Some of it is structured and some of it is you,” Rachel said. Not everyone understood that. People understood the structure, but they were reluctant to venture out on their own according to the group leaders.

If they decided to plan another retreat, they might hold it in the U.S. “Having it in Costa Rica we were taking in a lot of unknowns. So, we might do something in the states where we would have a little more control.

But as far as the programming, I wouldn’t have changed a thing,” Sue said.

Judy said they might also have a smaller group.

“I have to say it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of work too. I loved all the planning,” Rachel added with a laugh. “It was pretty ballsy to do it.”

For Judy the only downside was when there were glitches during the retreat. “It was a stressor when things go wrong on your watch,” Judy said. But she said when that happened, they had each other to lean on.

“I have to say we had each other’s backs” Sue said, ”in the planning and the facilitating.” “And we knew how to pull out the best in each other as things came up,” Sue said.

And of course, having co leaders allowed them to vent!

“I have nothing but a deep bow to Judy for all of her details and cool-headed numbers. And for Sue keeping everything in emotional balance and to ground everyone. I felt so comfortable co-leading with them,” Rachel said.

“This is the perfect time in our lives to go on a trip like this,” said Judy.

If you know someone I should interview for this blog, email me at ksparis15@gmail.com.

Wasting Away in Margaritaville, Not!

For those of you who have been following my blog since the beginning, you might remember that my husband and I have been talking about Latitude Margaritaville in Hilton Head, SC (It’s really Hardeeville, but it’s branded as Hilton Head) for over two years. Why wouldn’t someone want to live where the party never ends and Jimmy Buffet’s laid back lifestyle is the template for life over 55?

It took my husband a minute to wrap his mind around visiting because he isn’t ready to move, but when I told him it was a two to three year wait for a house, he agreed.

We decided to participate in the Latitude Getaway option (formerly known as the Stay and Play). That option allows you to stay on the campus in one of the villas and enjoy all the amenities. You even get a golf cart to use during your stay there. It costs $199 a night and is well worth the price if you are serious about moving there.

I am fortunate to have a friend from high school Sherry Zuback Bean who lives in the community. She served as our personal tour guide and it just so happened that she lived right across the street from where we were staying.

First impressions

The community is beautiful with a Caribbean flair . The houses are all one level and very nicely laid out. All the houses have a two-car garage. Check! Also, the guest room and extra bathroom are away from the primary bedroom. Remember this is set up for people over 55, so guests are going to be temporary.

Our villa came in a floor plan that is no longer available, but it still gave us a good idea of what it would be like to live there. Also, the villa came with a margarita machine. That thing was awesome. Apparently they used to give new residents one when they moved in, but they no longer do. I would have to buy one if we moved there. My husband said it was the best margarita he ever had.

Housing Options

We spent one afternoon touring 12 model homes. I loved having a chance to view all the models side-by-side. It definitely helped us get a better idea of what each on included, although there were a lot of upgrades. Still, there was a complete list of what was included and what wasn’t.

There are three different configurations of houses. The Cottages are set up in a quad with four driveways facing each other. It forms almost a little communal area for the homes. This is the least expensive option.

Then there are the Villas where two houses are attached. There are multiple styles and the Villas are spacious.

Finally, there are the Single Family homes that are not for families. No children except for a quick visit with grandma and grandpa.

All the options are great, it’s really about what you’re looking for and what you want to spend. When you’re looking at prices (I know you are already searching the website) the prices do not include the lots. Lots are priced separately and vary in price depending on your view.

What you gonna do?

Listen, relaxation is definitely available. There is one of the nicest pools I’ve ever seen and the margaritas are delicious and inexpensive, but people don’t just lounge in the sun every day. There is so much to do.

Of course, they have Pickle Ball and Pickle Ball leagues, but there’s also lawn bowling and tennis. However there are also, so many clubs including the Wine Fairies, Bible Groups, Choir, Writing Clubs and more. My husband wants to join a band down there so he can keep playing his bass.

And of course, there’s karaoke! After dinner at the Bar & Chill, we joined the karaoke night. There is video of me singing, but I threatened my husband if he posted it.

What really struck us about the evening was how supportive everyone was. Every singer was applauded, even me, and the audience was totally engaged. There were definitely some great singers and we met some of them personally when we accidentally crashed the choir practice the next day.

We took advantage of the state-of-the-art fitness club which included free weights, machines, a wide variety of cardio machines, fitness classes, an indoor pool and saunas.

I set up a morning swim in the lap lanes. I had a lane all to myself. It was great, but they have to be reserved ahead of time.

After the workout, we visited the Cinnabon food truck (Hey, I worked out first!) Luckily, it’s only there once a month or I could have a serious problem.

There really is truly something for everybody and the only time we saw people sitting around was at the bar. Of course, they were probably sitting at the big BINGO game, but it was sold out and we couldn’t get a ticket.

The next day, I decided to participate in one of the fitness classes — Fit Yoga. The instructor kicked my butt — the class was not for sissys. In the class, I met someone who had moved down from Philadelphia. She said she cried the whole first year they were there because she missed the city and ethnic food. Apparently, Mexican is the only ethnic food they do well down there.

It was great meeting her and getting a different perspective. She has stopped crying, has made friends and is planning a trip back to Philadelphia to eat.

The Next Step

After lunch, we got ready for the hard sell where they lock you in a room until you sign. Instead we met with our assigned salesperson, Caleb. He was pleasant and informative with an interactive screen so we could see all the floor plans and make virtual changes to the plans to meet our individual taste and needs. No hard sell. No reason, there’s a HUGE waiting list.

Yes, we put our name on the list, why not? It didn’t cost anything.

After our meeting, we went back to the Villa and relaxed on our screened in lanai drinking margaritas before dinner.

During the 10 hour ride back home, we talked about the prospect of moving. I have lived in the same town all my life, so the thought of moving is pretty scary, but we have time to think. It’s always fun to dream.

We will be going back for another visit. You can do two Latitude Getaways, so we are planning another one for early next year. My husband said, “If we have a heavy snowfall next year, you’ll have leverage.”

One thing that’s for sure, if we move to Margaritaville, we won’t be wasting away. We’ll be working out, walking, joining clubs, going to events, etc. I’ll let you know what we decide. Until then, we’ll just chill.

If you know a person or subject that you think would make a good subject for my blog, please send me an email at ksparis15@gmail.com

Want to know more about Latitude Margaritaville, go to: https://www.latitudemargaritaville.com/ Tell them Karen sent you.

Living a Life of Purpose and Passion

Stan has a true passion for life. He has a passion for his work. A passion for the Jewish faith and its history and a passion for his family and the love of his life, Carolyn, to whom he’s been married for over 60 years.

Stan retired at 66. “I’m not really sure why I retired. I didn’t have to. I had the idea that turning 65 is when people are supposed to retire. So, I hung on an extra year,” Stan said.

Twenty two years later, he’s still working, but now he is doing it on his own schedule.

“It was a great joy going to work,” Stan said. He was a Cooperative Extension Specialist in Community Planning for the Department of Agricultural Economics and Rural Sociology. He explained it as “basically giving away knowledge to the community, the mission of all Land Grant colleges in the United States.”

Now, he puts that knowledge to work at the Planning Education Institute, which he helped establish while he was working at Penn State. The Institute focuses on teaching community planning and land use to local elected and appointed officials and attorneys. It serves 1,000 students a year.

“I like it because it keeps me involved and keeps me relevant. I did not give up my career when I retired,” Stan said.

He now works as much as he wants to. “Carolyn (his wife) thinks I spend 10 hours a day working. I don’t. But if she wants to live with that fiction, that’s ok,” Stan said.

Finding a Place to Belong

Stan and Carolyn also spend their retirement supporting and maintaining the Agudath Achim synagogue in Huntingdon, PA.

Stan and Carolyn became involved with the synagogue after seeing an advertisement in the late 1990s. “Frankly, we did not have a place where we felt comfortable in terms of our religious activities,” Stan said.

They decided, along with another couple, to drive the 31 miles to Huntingdon to celebrate the High Holiday days.

Their first impression? “Frankly, we were captivated. The people were warm, they were friendly. It was very welcoming. We joined up,” Stan said.

The synagogue was led by the members. Only three times in its history did it have a rabbi. “It was a very home-grown operation,” Stan said. It was very different from the more traditional background that he had grown up in, but he and Carolyn knew that they had found a home.

But like many religious institutions, the number of members was dwindling. As the original members and the next generation of the original members grew older, moved on, or passed away, Stan and Carolyn became more central to the operation. “It would have been easy to just end, but we felt there was a need to continue it,” Stan said.

Because the members owned the building and it was lay-led, the cost to continue to operate was manageable. However, some members began to wonder if it might make more sense to close down the synagogue and move the congregation to Altoona. One of the original members, Bernie Schwartz, said no. “We aligned with him,” Stan said.

Bernie was a local merchant who had a jewelry store and a musical instrument store in Huntingdon. “It was part of his tradition and he wanted to continue it,” Stan said.

Keeping the Doors Open

Stan and Carolyn became more involved in the running of the synagogue. Stan participated in the services and Carolyn handled the hospitality. Stan eventually became president of the synagogue board.

There was a couple who led the services and people enjoyed them, according to Stan. “It was loosey, goosey conservative. It wasn’t extreme in any fashion; however it built on traditions. It was easy to be part of the congregation,” Stan said.

Carolyn likes to talk about the phenomenon of people finding Agudath Achim. It has not only been a resource for the Jewish community, but the greater Huntingdon area as well.

She told a story about a foreign exchange student from Hungary, Sophia. She was attending Juniata College in Huntingdon. Growing up in Hungary, she was not allowed to practice her religion. The congregation took her in. When she completed her college years, she accepted a job at the local newspaper. There she met the son of the owner, fell in love, and married him. The congregation gave her a Bridal Shower, and to show her appreciation, she created bookmarks in English and Hungarian for the members.

There is a small cemetery close to the synagogue and they receive requests from the community to be buried there.

Saving the Synagogue

Agudath Achim was built between 1930 and 1934 and served the community well. “However, after all those years, it was showing its wear,” Stan said. He had already seen one synagogue deteriorate to the point where it had to be demolished, the Hillel Building at Penn State, where he would sometimes go for High Holidays. “The one thing I felt strongly about is I didn’t want to see that happen to this building,” Stan said.

“I was influential in making the decision to invest in the building, not allow it to deteriorate. In 2012, we redid the interior of the sanctuary. It looks gorgeous. There are replacement chandeliers, walls painted, what have you.” Two years ago, there was work done on the outside of the building such as brick work and other minor repairs.

“There was money in the bank. A small endowment and some CD funds,” Stan said which was used for the interior. For the exterior work, Stan instituted a campaign to buy a brick. “Buy a brick for 18 cents.” The number 18 is considered sacred in Hebrew because it is the same word as “life.” When you wish someone “l’chaim,” you are wishing them “long life.”

The building was so important to him because of his religious sense. “It comes from a sense that it is your responsibility as a Jew to maintain the synagogue. You don’t allow a religious building to just fall apart,” Stan said.

Many of Stan and Carolyn’s grandchildren have since their bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs at the synagogue.

The Synagogue as Tradition

To Carolyn and Stan, saving the Huntingdon Synagogue was not just about saving one building.

“You can think of the Huntingdon synagogue by itself, but Carolyn and I think about the regional context,” Stan said. There are synagogues in small towns throughout Pennsylvania. “They are individual religious institutions with no concept of how they fit into the larger context of Judaism and Jewish practice in Central Pennsylvania when it was the hinterlands. ” Through their research, Carolyn and Stan found out that many synagogues were started by traveling peddlers. who decided they wanted to put down roots and form a community. “This is the way that congregations formed,” Stan said.

“That’s what motivated us.”

Now there is a national Jewish Community Legacy Project which is bringing these individual congregations together by Zoom to learn more about how these communities developed in small rural towns throughout the country.

“I see it as not just the legacy of my grandchildren, but the legacy of development of Jewish practice in the wilderness. What are Jews doing there and how did they get there?” Stan said. “We finally have some greater sense of the regional context and that is what drives us,” Stan said.

Agudath Achim Now

Currently, there are a small number of families that are members; however, the congregation continues. There are monthly Zoom meetings and the congregation holds high holiday services. “We continue to offer services. It’s a minimal amount, but it continues the practice and people enjoy it,” Stan said.

One of the challenges to people attending services is the synagogue’s distance from State College., “It’s a forty-five minute drive from State College where many of the potential participants live. The distance dissuades people from coming.” However, Stan believes that the drive is part of the whole experience. “The drive down is preparation for the service. The sense of nature and God is part of the service. To me it’s part of the experience. It’s part of the joy. It’s not a schlep.”

Final Thought

Stan Lembeck’s advice to anyone thinking about retirement is “KEEP BUSY”. Stan and Carolyn are doing just that, but they are also giving back to the community. Between Stan’s work at the Institute and his and Carolyn’s work with the synagogue they are looking at not only their own futures, but also, the future of Central Pennsylvania and the tradition of Judaism in rural Pennsylvania.

Finding Love Again

Susan Cislak McNulty was a little reluctant to enter the dating pool after the death of her husband, but love found her in a chance encounter.

Susan Cislak McNulty was too young to be a widow, but there she was at 54. Her husband Mark passed away in 2016 from renal cancer. They had been married for 19 years.

Susan was not only dealing with the emotional loss, but all the finances and paperwork related to his death. During this time she received some advice, “You’re only 54, don’t get married until you’re 60 or you will lose his benefits.” At that point, getting remarried as not even on Susan’s mind.

Instead, she kept herself busy.

Before Mark’s death, she had been working part-time at the University of Richmond, but after his death she took a full-time job as an admin in the Department of Alumni and Career Services.

She also became more involved with her church, First Presbyterian. She became a deacon of the church in 2017 as well as the head of the bereavement committee. Unfortunately, Susan had become very familiar with loss. After Mark died, her mother passed in 2017 and her father in 2019. In addition, she had lost a brother much earlier in 2012.

Susan was head of the committee for two years, but realized she was ready to try something different. She told the minister, “I really don’t want to be labeled as a widow, I just want to be Susan.” Susan said. “I just had to move on.”

So, she made the change and became head of the Youth Council working with the kids and their parents. The parents were closer to Susan’s age and she enjoyed the transition.

In addition, Susan was involved as an advisor for her sorority Delta Gamma at the University of Richmond.

Susan had a full life between work, activities and her Cavalier King Charles Spaniels — George and Sophie.

Even though Susan’s life was full, she knew something was missing, “The house is awfully quiet,” Susan said. She also missed traveling and sharing the experience with a significant other.

Susan’s co-workers at the College tried to get her to put together an online dating profile, but she wasn’t ready. Another colleague told them, “Susan will get you when she’s ready.”

Susan had started flirting a little, but nothing came of it.

A Chance Encounter

Susan was considering creating a profile when she received an invitation to one of Mark’s family member’s wedding. Her sister-in-law called to personally ask her to come. “She said you would be the only person there representing the siblings (Mark was one of four children),” Susan said. So, she decided to take the trip down to Savannah.

Susan was enjoying her time in Savannah and reconnecting with family members she hadn’t seen since Mark’s funeral. She had brought with her several family heirlooms for the groom and presented them at the rehearsal dinner that night. While she was doing so, Joe walked by. He stopped to listen to the history of the items that Susan was telling the couple. After that, she and Joe began to talk.

Susan said she felt comfortable talking to Joe because she was surrounded by family. She thought, “He’s kind if cute, maybe I’ll sit next to him tomorrow at the wedding.”

The wedding and the reception were all at one location and indeed she did sit next him thanks to some maneuvering by her sister-in-law.

Susan found out that Joe was an old family friend. He and her brother-in-law had been fraternity brother’s at Susan’s alma mater, DePauw University.

After a night of talking and dancing, Susan knew there was something special about him. They made plans to go on the on a trolley tour together around the city the next day. Before the night ended, he gave her a kiss. Her niece said, “He kissed you.” Susan said, “I know.”

Susan had recently turned 60.

On the trolley ride, Joe asked her out for lunch. Her sister-in-law said, “You should definitely go, he’s such a gentleman.” Afterwards, they took a walk around Savannah. They had been together for 8 hours and then went out with the group to watch basketball.

Before they left Savannah, Susan invited him to visit her in Richmond before. He called her that day to make sure she had arrived home ok and then on Tuesday of the next week, he sent her a bouquet of roses. Three weeks later her came for a visit.

The Courtship

Joe came down to Richmond for a visit and then Susan returned to Indianapolis for a visit and to see the Indianapolis 500.

On his next visit Richmond, June 19th, he pulled a light up ring out of his suitcase and proposed! Because another family member had used it before, he told Susan, “It’s a family heirloom.” Susan said, “Really! Yes, I will.”

Because Joe’s work allowed him to work from anywhere, there was no problem for him moving to Richmond, except that he had lived his entire life in Indianapolis. His house sold in one day and he was ready to make the transition. Joe has never been married before. He told Susan he grew up at 64.

But their fairytale was not without a few bumps. On one of Joe’s visits, he brought his dog. They thought the three dogs would be ok together, but Joe’s dog attacked and killed Susan’s dog George. Susan found her dog under the piano when she returned home. When Susan called Joe about the attack he said, “Do you still want to marry me?” The answer was yes.

So Sophie is a single dog.

Joe had lived his whole life in Indiana where Susan grew up. The more they talked, the more they realize how many connections in common. It was surprising they had never met before.

Married Life

They said I do on 11/22/22. “It was a Tuesday,” Susan said.

Joe wanted a big wedding. He wanted five groomsmen. “I said, ok, it’s your first marriage, so I guess I have to find 5 bridesmaids,” Susan said.

How is married life? Susan said she realized that he treats her the same way her father treated her mother. He is very attentive, but she warns him,”You can’t put me on a pedestal.” But he says, “But I love you.

That is not to say that they never disagree. Susan admits, she does have a temper. But Joe said she has an Irish temper. “You’re quick to flash, but you’re quick to forgive.”

Mark’s family has been very supportive of Susan’s marriage to Joe. Before Mark passed, he made her promise that she would at least date. “He didn’t want me to be the mournful widow,” Susan said.

“Before he died, he said he would be ok if I remarried.”

Final Advice

Susan said she is glad she made the decision to date again. “You just have to put yourself out there,” she said.

“It’s nice opening the door and knowing someone is there,” Susan said. She added, “I love cooking for someone and he likes my cooking.”

Joe told Susan the best part of being married is falling sleep next to her and waking up and she is there. He said he wants to be the husband she has the longest time. She replied “Then you have to live 20 years. ” He said he was ok with that.

There’s planning a custom planned honeymoon in Ireland this summer.

“I think it is a match made in heaven for us,” Susan said.

When she was traveling back from Savannah, her engagement ring broke. Her friend said, “That’s Mark telling you it’s ok.

As a token of her love for these two men, they designed an engagement ring with Mark’s diamond in the middle and a new setting with additional diamonds.

A friend at church said, “You have the loves of your life on one hand.”

I’m Back!

I’m back and ready to write some more stories about amazing people.

One thing I have learned since starting my blog, Growing Up Not Old, is that life over 50 looks very different to different people.

When I decided to retire from my job of 15 years, I told people that I was calling this phase of my life, my “re-imagination” not my retirement. So I have spent the past six months figuring out what to do next. Reimagining my life.

Since I left my full-time job, I have woken up every morning euphoric. I have never looked back or second guessed my decision. But after six months of writing, creating videos and doing a podcast, I wanted a little more structure in my life.

An opportunity presented itself at the local Chamber of Commerce. I had already being doing some work for them as a contractor so, I took on the position of part-time Community Events Coordinator. So far its been great.

I started working there after a two-week stay with my daughter and her husband in their home in Auckland, New Zealand. It was awesome! And for a long time fan of the Lord of the Rings franchise, it was really a dream come true visiting Hobbiton, the set of the Hobbit movies.

So now that I have recovered from my trip and have settled into my new job, it’s time to get back to my passion — writing.

As many of you know, I spent last year preparing for my own re-imagination by interviewing people who had made big changes to their life after 50. I have told stories of people selling everything and moving to the Caribbean and other stories of people falling in love later in life. Each story is unique and inspiring.

Now, I am writing my own story in real time, so please forgive my lapses between blogs as I figure out what life looks like for me personally.

Still, I have received so many comments about my blog and so many people have told me how much they like reading my stories, that I’m not about to give up now.

So, now that I am in motion, I am ready to get back to writing. I have already contacted a few people about interviews and I am always looking for someone else with an interesting story.

I know my part-time job with the Chamber is not my-end-all-be-all. It’s one more step on my journey. I hope I never stop taking those steps because I believe one should never stop learning.

So, follow me this year as we meet more interesting people with their own unique stories and help me as I navigate my own path.

My next blog will be March 14th. I am going to catch up with some of the people I profiled last year to see how they are doing and then March 28th, I will have a brand new blog.

If you haven’t been following my blog, now is a great time to start. Go back and read some of my early stories. The writing may not have been as on point, but the stories are just as fascinating.

Here’s to another trip around the Sun and more interesting people to meet.

If you know someone who would make a great interview, let me know. Email me at karensparis@gmail.com.

To see all my blogs, go to: growingupnotold.com

Coaching People Towards a Brighter Future

When Jenn turned 50, she knew she was ready for a change. After some self-reflection, she found her next career helping others like her going through transition.

January is often a time when people reflect and think about what they want to do over the next year. Some people over 50 may start to think about retiring, while others start to think about what their next chapter might be.

Five years ago, when Jenn Gruber was turning 50, she began to think about what she might do next. Her husband was getting ready to retire and her daughter was graduating from high school and going off to college.

“I’d spent 22 years putting my family first,” Jenn said. “I wanted to do what I wanted to do, but I had no idea what that was.”

She knew she wanted to do something that would incorporate all the skills she had learned over a lifetime of volunteer and paid work experience with non-profits. Over the years, she discovered that not only did she love leading groups, public speaking and writing, she was good at it.

So, Jenn began a journey of self-discovery including meditation, yoga, journaling, ~~and~~ listening to podcasts, watching TED talks, and reading self-help books and articles.

“All of that led me to coaching,” Jenn said. “Helping people find more joy and more fulfillment in their lives felt very appealing to me and brought me back to what I wanted to do in my 20s.”

Although she was passionate about coaching, Jenn was still hesitant to take the first steps.

“I thought, ‘what if I’m not good at it?” Jenn said. However, once she started the certification process, she knew that coaching was the modality that she had been looking for. “I realized that through every job and position I’d held, I did a lot of coaching,” Jenn said. “I was always the person that the company leadership would ask, ‘What’s the mood of the organization? What do people need?’” Her training provided a framework for using the skills that had always felt intuitive to her.

Once she ~~had~~ decided move forward, Jenn had another decision to make, who would she coach? “I thought it made sense to work with women like me,” Jenn said. She wanted to help women who were ready to start a new chapter but had lost touch with who they were, but that felt too broad.

“I’ve always loved helping people to feel more connected to one another, so I realized that I wanted relationships to be a part of my work. What I landed on was family transitions.” Jenn said.

Now, she helps people who are approaching retirement to not only explore their own goals, but also to think about how their relationships are going to be impacted by those changes. Her clients also include individuals whose partners are retiring, those whose kids are becoming young adults, and those whose parents are aging and declining.

Her own personal experience with her father, who was afflicted with Alzheimer’s, has helped give her insight into this area.

Training and Certification

Jenn went through extensive training to become a life coach. She first attended a 9-month program through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) and earned her Certified Professional Coach (CPC) designation. Then, after completing 100 hours of coaching and additional testing, she was awarded the title of Associate Certified Coach (ACC) through the International Coaching Federation.

Going into Business

In February 2020, Jenn launched her business. Although at first, this seemed an inopportune time to begin a business, Jenn found new opportunities.

“My entire marketing plan for the year went out the window.” Jenn said with a laugh. Instead, she pivoted and began facilitating virtual support groups and coaching clients struggling with COVID-related issues.

Jenn worked with SHIFT Yoga in Fulton, MD facilitating online “Support for the Soul” groups. In addition, Jenn led discussions for book clubs and groups of friends who pulled together, helping them deal with COVID-related issues.

Clients would say, “I’m not used to being with my spouse 24-7 and it’s driving me crazy.” But it wasn’t just about managing family relationships, people had many fears about COVID, and it caused them to re-think their lives moving forward, according to Jenn.

“It was a great way for me to get a lot of exposure,” Jenn said. During this time, she was able to make contacts and get her name out in the community, while also gaining more experience.

Building Her Business

Jenn also made a point to network. She joined the Business Women’s Network of Howard County. “Even though it was all virtual for quite a while, I made a lot of contacts,” Jenn said.

“I’ve also gotten a lot of referrals through other coaches,” she said. Because each coach has their own specialty, Jenn has had other coaches reach out to her. Sometimes the referrals come through the Facebook groups she belongs to and other times through iPEC alumni. “There aren’t a lot of coaches who do what I do,” Jenn said, referring in particular to the fact that she works with peoplewho are overwhelmed by their parents’ increasing needs.

Jenn has also built up a network of professionals who refer clients to her. “After the pandemic I put a lot of energy into referral partnerships,” Jenn said. These professionals include social workers, senior real estate specialists, estate attorneys and generic care managers.

Advice for People in Transition

Through her experience working with people transitioning into retirement, as well as her own personal experience, Jenn has found one thing that’s really important. She recommends you ask yourself, “What do I want my life to look like once I retire?”

Jenn said this is not about just planning out the big goals. She recommends you think about what day-to-day life will be. What time will you get up or go to bed? Do you want to set an alarm? Will you go to gym? Do you want to volunteer?

“Think about how you’re going to fill your days,” Jenn said. She also recommended asking yourself why you’re choosing to do those things, whether it be activities or down time. “What is going to bring you joy and fulfillment?”

Discover What’s Missing

Jenn said that when people first make the decision to retire, they often think about what they won’t miss after leaving their job. For example, “I won’t have to deal with difficult people anymore. “

However, she said it’s important to take that next step and think about what their former career provided them. According to Jenn, failure to look at the loss you may be experiencing as a result of retiring may leave a person floundering and feeling like “this is what I wanted, why am I not enjoying it more?”

For example, an individual may miss something like the social interactions at work. They need to think, “‘I do miss the social interactions so, I need to find new social interactions.’ It’s not that leaving was the wrong decision,” she said.

“People often don’t realize or anticipate how much the loss of their previous life will impact them,” Jenn said. “Then they start judging themselves for not handling things well.”

According to Jenn it’s important acknowledge what you are missing and where else can you find that feeling. “It’s not working every day that you miss, it’s the feelings that come from working every day that you miss,” Jenn said. Perhaps it’s the sense of accomplishment, or feeling appreciated, or being a part of a team.

She recommends that individuals remember why they made the decision to retire and think about what they are gaining in retirement.

“What is it that made you feel relevant before? What does relevance mean to you?” are questions that Jenn says can be great starting points.

Her Personal Transition

Jenn doesn’t just focus on an individual, but also on how the relationships in her clients’ lives will change as a result of major life changes. She knows first-hand. Her husband, Jim, retired December 30^th, 2021. “It wasn’t a seamless transition for the two of us, even though he had been working from home for over a year.” Jenn said.

It’s was a transition for Jim going from being on a schedule to having no schedule, especially since she was still on a schedule. They made changes to the way they communicated in order to navigate this transition better.

Now, they talk in the morning over coffee. They both share what they are going to do that day. Jenn goes over her schedule so her husband knows when she is working and when she has time off. That way he knows when she’s available.

Jenn said this not only helps him, but it helps her as well. “I’ve worked from home in the past, and I’ve had trouble maintaining boundaries between work life and home life. By telling him my schedule, it helps me stick to those hours,” Jenn said.

In addition, they set up weekly conversations, where they discuss plans for the weekend and logistical details of their lives. It’s also an opportunity to talk about things that are bothering them. “It’s a safe time to have honest conversations. We started it during COVID,” Jenn said.

At first, Jim was reluctant. “So, you want me to set an hour aside each week so you can tell be everything I’m doing wrong.” Jim said.

“I explained, ‘No. We deserve to have the best in each other, and we’re not getting that.’ Now he admits that he sees the benefit. It’s a time to share whatever is on our minds,” Jenn said.

It is a time to discuss issues without the emotions that are present in the heat of the moment. They are able to me more receptive and less reactive and defensive. These meetings seem to work, according to Jenn.

The Second Spouse Retiring

Retirement is one change people make; however, when the second spouse retires, it is an entirely new transition.

Jenn said it’s important to keep in mind that each spouse may have their own perception of what retirement should look like. “There is no one perfect way to do retirement. Couple’s retirement goals can be very different from one another,” Jenn said. One person may be a homebody who thrives on down time versus another person who wants a full schedule and a lot of activity.

“No answer is the right one for everyone,” Each person needs to determine what does their ideal retirement looks like and where the crossover with their partner is, according to Jenn.

“Often one person wants to spend more time together than the other one does. There needs to be compromise and it takes time,” Jenn said.

“Start with what sounds fun and appealing to both individuals. Start there,” Jenn said.

Life as a Coach

Jenn works about 20 hours a week and feels she has found the right path. “I love helping people see things in a different way — helping them to see things they didn’t see before,” Jenn said. “With coaching there are no right or wrong answers. It’s all about helping people find the solution that is best for them.”

Jenn believes that people have the answer, and her job is to help them get to it. “They do know what they want, they just don’t know how to access it. Helping them figure it out is really fun for me and very rewarding.”

She believes her work has a ripple effect. “If a client feels happier as a result of our work together, that ripples out to everyone they touch. I like knowing I’ve impacted the world in a positive way.”

“So much time is wasted when people don’t understand each other,” Jenn said. “And a lot of that comes from them not knowing themselves, and what they want and need. When you look inward and figure that out, it’s going to improve all your other relationships as well,” Jenn said.

Final Advice

Jenn said the biggest hurdle in retiring is indecision. People often are unsure of when they want to retire and end up second guessing themselves.

“What’s really difficult is when somebody makes a decision and then they don’t feel good about it or question whether they’ve made the right choice,” Jenn said.

“You have to be really clear on why you’re making the decision to retire, then, regardless of what happens in the future, you can still feel good about basing the decision on very valid reasons,” she said.

If you are interested in finding out more about Jenn and the services she offers, go to: https://jenngruber.com/

If you know anyone who you think would be a great interview for my blog, email me at: karensparis@gmail.com

Moving Down the Ocean Hon

“I had the career my fourteen-year-old self always wanted,” said Pete Kerzel, 62. Pete had a long career as a journalist and spent the last 12 years as the managing editor for MASNsports.com, covering the Baltimore Orioles and Washington Nationals.

Welcome to Ocean City! Pete gets the key to his condo.

He was paid to watch baseball games and go down to spring training. He was there the night Cal Ripken Jr. beat the streak and met many of his childhood heroes, including Brooks Robinson. “How many people get to live their dream?“ Pete said.

When Pete began to think of retirement, he still loved his job, but he began to notice a change. “The written word is being minimized,” he said. “And I’m a written word guy.”

He added, “I could see what was coming down the pike. They didn’t want to hire more writers.” He saw a shift away from writing and more toward videos, social media and TikTok.

In addition, the demands of the job began to wear on him. Pete was always on call in case someone signed a contract or a team made a trade or some other story. “I would have to bring my computer with me when I went out to dinner with friends,” Pete said. “It just wasn’t as much fun anymore.”

The real turning point came when Pete met with Chip Herring, his Ameriprise financial advisor, in the Spring of 2020, almost a year after the death of his mother. His advisor said, “Just so you know, you can retire now.” Pete said he remembers thinking “What?!” He was surprised that at the age of 60, spending a lifetime in a profession known for lower salaries, that he was able to retire.

Where to retire was easy. Ocean City, Md., had always held a special place in Pete’s heart. Being in OC evokes memories of spending time “down the ocean” with his parents and friends. “I’ve been coming to Ocean City since I’ve been six years old,” Pete said

He started looking for property in August 2020. At that point, he saw it as a place he would be able to use when he wasn’t working and eventually retire to. By the time he bought in December 2020, he knew that he would be moving there sooner than he thought.

Pete knew exactly what he was looking for and how much he wanted to spend. He said he and his real estate agent, Terry Miler, looked at 40 or 50 condos. He bought right as the market was beginning to tick up with people relocating due to COVID.

He began living down there part-time while he working remotely due to COVID. As he began living in Ocean City for weeks at a time, it became increasingly difficult for him to drive back home over the Bay Bridge to the Western Shore. “Then, when I would reverse that and come to the beach, I would think everything felt right again.”

World Series 2019 with Mark Zuckerman and Byron Kerr in Nationals Park.

In October 2021, Pete spoke to his supervisor to let him know he would be leaving the following April. When he told his boss he was ready to retire, his boss said. “I’m so happy for you.” He knew the toll the 80-hour weeks were taking on Pete.

“The timing was right. I got out on my terms when I wanted to,” Pete said.

On April 20,^,2022 Pete moved to Ocean City, got himself settled, and was able to finish out the month virtually before retiring on April 30, 2022.

Upon retiring, Pete received some advice from a friend. “Don’t do anything for six months.” Pete took that advice to heart. His six months was up the Thursday after we spoke.

Life Down the Ocean

But Pete didn’t exactly spend all his time sitting in his condo reading, although he did that, too. He began writing for the Delmarva Shorebirds game program. “I put the ‘free’ in freelance, “ Pete said – and he couldn’t be happier. He’s already looking forward to next season.

2022 Delmarva Shorebirds game with Bob Stine.

He also did two important things that any senior who retires to OC should do: get a pass to Assateague Island National Seashore and get a OC bus pass.

The lifetime senior pass to Assateague Island costs $85. With that pass, Pete can go to the Island to watch the ponies or just enjoy the beach whenever he wants. He can also take a friend for free.

The senior bus pass gives free bus rides to people over 60 and free tram rides before 4 p.m. After 4 p.m., Pete gets a dollar off tram rides “They aren’t making any money on me,” he said.

Pete loves to ride the tram. ”The smell of the caramel popcorn or the sound of a kid squealing in the arcade because he won a prize can take me back 50 years.”

Pete also thinks of his friend, Barry Diffendal, when he rides the tram. Barry passed away suddenly in 2012 after only one year in retirement. Barry and Pete often joked about retiring to OC and Barry would say, “You drive the tram and I’ll be the conductor in the back.”

Transitioning into Retirement

Pete said it took a good 6 to 8 weeks for him to get used to being retired. “It was a huge thing to get used to. I can go shopping when I want to go shopping. I don’t have to wedge it in,” he said.

“I hadn’t had a normal day in years,” Pete said. In his previous life, he had an erratic sleep schedule as he was required to work whenever the teams were playing. If there was a West Coast game, Pete would often have to stay up until 2 or 3 a.m. after the game finished so he could edit online stories.

Now, his time is his own and he is enjoying shopping when he wants, reading by the pool (during the summer time) and walking along the beach and boardwalk. He is also able to watch baseball for the sheer enjoyment of it and can turn off a game if it gets boring or goes into a rain delay.

Socializing with Friends

The other thing that Pete is enjoying is being able to spend time with his friends, “I got a two-bedroom condo so friends could come for a visit,” he said.

Some of his friends even live in OC either full-time or part-time.

Two his friends moved down there a year before he did. “They were a great resource,” he said. Not only does he spend time with them, but they have also introduced him to their friends.

One thing Pete enjoys is going with his friends, Greg and Cindy Cannizaro, to the Elks Club on Thursday nights for the fried chicken finner. Pete said it’s a great deal at just $12.

“Also, I can buy a round drinks for the table for just $6,” he added.

For Pete, retirement has been about seizing opportunities.

He said he loves being available for last minute events. Whether it’s seeing John Fogarty in Selbyville or watching the air show practice from a pontoon boat, Pete is ready for fun.

He is one of the few year-rounders in his community. This winter will be his full winter in OC. “I predict at some time this winter I’m going to bored out of my gourd,” he said. However, there are many things to do even off season and Pete knows many people there.

“I forgot that it was possible to be spontaneous,” Pete said. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve been in an position where I can choose when to do things and it’s been fun.”

Tourist Season

For some people the tourist season from May to September/October could be a deterrent from moving down to OC, but Pete takes it all in stride.

“I love the water. I love the salt air,” Pete said. “So, you have to punt June, July and August for April, May, September and October. Sure, the summer months can be crazy, but it’s really fun to see the town so energized.”

There about 7,500 to 8,000 year-round residents in Ocean City. In the summer time, the population swells.

He said, “I enjoyed this spring watching the town gear up and get ready for the invasion of the summer people. It was a kick.”

Of course, he has had to make some concessions during tourist season, like doing his grocery shopping during the week. “You don’t want to go to the grocery store Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday.”

Also, there are also some restaurants that he doesn’t go to during season because there just too many people in town and the prices are higher.

But he said OC has changed a lot over the years. “’It’s more of a year-round thing now,” Of course, some places do close, but others offer dinner specials and happy hours to get customers in the door. His favorite pizza place, Pino’s, is closed for the season, but he waits in patient anticipation for it to reopen in May.

Luckily, Happy Jack Pancake House, which Pete calls his second home, is year-round, though only on the weekends in the offseason.

Making Finances Work

Pete was able to retire early because he made savings a priority. He’ll have a small pension from MedStar Health, where he worked in public/media relations for almost a decade, but he’s contributed to 401k plans through other employers and socked away money in his Ameriprise accounts.

When his mother passed away in 2019, he took the proceeds from the sale of his mother’s house plus some other inheritance, and put it into an annuity. He will tap that when he turns 65. For now, he is paying himself a salary out of his savings and will be collecting social security and his pension. This allows him to live the way he wants to live.

He gets his medical insurance through the Affordable Care Act. He said that the insurance is good, but the bureaucracy has been frustrating at times.

Final Words of Advice

“I don’t miss 80-hour weeks. I don’t miss waiting for my expense check,” Pete said. “That stuff, let somebody else do it. I’m so happy to not be dealing with it now.”

For Pete, retirement is a new beginning. “I look at this chapter as a blank slate,” he said.

He remembers a few days after he moved down and settled in thinking, “What do I do now?”

Then he said, a little apparition appeared over his head and said, “You can do whatever you want.”

What Pete wants to do is carve out time for himself and just appreciate his time in Ocean City. His condo backs up to a bayfront marsh and one of his favorite things to do is sit on his screened deck and watch the wildlife including herons, otters and foxes.

“I get these incredible sunsets and it’s as though someone painted the sky,” Pete said.

He is not sure what he is going to do now that his six months are up. He might volunteer or get a part-time job. He is leaving the door open to new opportunities.

Before he moved to he said, “I thought: What’s the worst thing that could happen? If I don’t like it here, I can move back to Baltimore, But I don’t think that’s going to happen. This is home now.”

If you know someone who you would think would make a good subject for my blog, email me at karensparis15@gmail.com.

Becoming a Pickleball Person

It’s time to hit the courts for Pickleball. Are you game?

Alright, admit it. You knew at some point I would do a blog about pickleball. As I told my husband “All the cool kids are doing it!”

Although apparently it’s not just the cool kids over 50. Did you know there was now a professional Pickle Ball League? No kidding! Some of the biggest names in sports are buying professional pickleball teams. Tom Brady and Kim Clijsters (tennis) both own teams.

With all the hubbub, I had to find out what it was all about.

I have never been very sports-oriented. I was a cheerleader in high school and a personal trainer in my 40s, but I have never really played sports, so I decided to take lessons.

My husband, always supportive, agreed to take them with me. He is an athlete, but more as a runner and cyclist, so I felt we were pretty even.

We decided to take lessons at the Dancel YMCA in Howard County. I know there are many places to play and take lessons, but I was already a member so it seemed like a good choice.

If you’re not familiar with pickleball it is a cross between tennis and ping pong. It can be played on a tennis court, but there are different lines and boundaries. Our lines are purple. Not sure if they are purple everywhere, but wouldn’t you think they’d be green.

The racquets are a lot like ping pong paddles except a little longer and narrower.

For me the real difference is the balls. The balls are fluorescent and are just like the whiffle balls we grew up with. You would think they wouldn’t bounce very well, but they do. They also hurt when you get hit with them.

At the Y, the instructor loaned us racquets. I took the one with a dragon on it. I thought I could channel the fire of the dragon into my hit.

We also received a basket of big whiffle balls. They were the only types of balls I could ever hit with a bat, so I was already familiar with them.

It seems as though it would be the perfect “couple” sport. There are usually two people on a team and they work in tandem to prevent the other team from scoring. However, we heard that sometimes it’s not a great idea for couples to be on the same team. It can cause arguments. I think it might cause more issues if they were on opposing teams. We’re not there yet.

Our pickleball coach said the first rule was to “stay out of the kitchen.” Hey, that worked for me. They told me that the first day of Weight Watchers too.

The kitchen is the front court essentially and you aren’t supposed to hang out there. You can put one foot in, but then you taken one foot out. You put one foot in, but no shaking it all about like the Hokey-Pokey.

When you are up by the kitchen, you are dinking. (I really couldn’t make this stuff up.) Dinking is when you hit the ball softly over the net. Even the professionals dink. All pickleball players dink at some point.

Dinking did not really seem to be in my nature. I was more a slamming and lobbing kind of player, which has its place in pickleball.

Once we were done dinking, we rallied and volleyed. That means we ran around the court trying to hit the ball. Finally, we were ready to play a game, but not until lesson two.

Even before our lesson was over, the gym started to fill with pickleball players. The began lining up on the beach behind the courts. Apparently, you get in line and when you get to the head of the line it’s your turn to play.

Score keeping is pretty easy. You score on your serve. Just like tennis, the ball has to land in a specific section in order to be considered good. Unlike tennis, you serve underhand. There are none of those fabulous shots of a player arching back to hit the ball like there are in tennis. It’s more like a softball pitch.

Each player gets to serve before the serve is returned to the other team. Easy peasy. Not.

You only play to 11 unless a lot of people are waiting to play then it’s 9. And there are always a lot of people waiting to playing.

I had a great revelation after my first lesson. Pickleball really is fun and despite it’s silly name, it’s a serious workout. My heart rate got up and the next day muscles I hadn’t heard from in years were speaking my name.

During our second lesson, I got a sage piece of advice. “Don’t keep extra balls in your pocket. If you fall down and land on them, they hurt.” How did she know I fall down a lot? I think it’s more likely they would serve as a cushion when, not if, I fall.

During my third lessons, we had newbies on the court. You know, the ones who hadn’t had two whole lessons like I had. I was patient with them.

After my third lesson, I decided to take the plunge a buy a racquet. In the past, I had bought equipment that I had never touched again and later sold at yard sales for a tenth of the price. I don’t think that’s going to happen with my pickleball paddles.

I don’t think a professional pickleball career is in my future. I mean I am retired. I don’t want to have to start traveling the country to play in tournaments, but I do have my eye on a prize.

At the YMCA they have tournaments and I am already visualizing myself winning the grand prize. — A jar of pickles.

I love to tell people’s stories. If you know someone over 50 who has made a major life change, send me an email karensparis15@gmail.com. I would love to interview them.